I found myself transported back into the not so distant past this morning while reading a novel written by Emilie Richards.
Featured in Richards’ Sister’s Choice novel is a marriage begun out a woman’s reluctant promise to a dying sister to care for two nephews. The promise also included wedding the sister’s husband, a marriage formed on the barren soil of duty and necessity.
Flashpoint to my past and to the crisis raised by my (now ex) husband’s accepting a job that allowed him to be home every evening. Until then he worked as a long haul semi-truck driver, gone for days at a time. We’d been married about 10 years by then, and our marriage had fallen on similar rocky ground. I was the primary parent for our two sons, the maker of dinner and the attender of school conferences, while trying to establish a writing career of my own. Dad was a weekend visitor, someone loved but not depended upon.
But my husband was home now. Life had to change. My sons’ needed to know their dad better and realize he occupied a place in their daily lives. I handed him the role of teaching the boys about our family faith – and stepped back to give them space.
Did I make the correct decision? In some ways, yes, as it gave the three of them time together and something that was uniquely their. In other ways, I wish I’d encouraged some other connection with their dad. My husband believed in serving religion up as a full meal deal where our sons got stuffed with more high level information than they could process or comprehend – and I see those results now in them.
Change the past – I can’t no matter how hard I try to hue out the stones of doubt. But in the end, both sons love their dad as he is – in a relationship forged on rocky ground – and that I would not change.
(C) 2016 by Mary Louise Van Dyke. All Rights Reserved.